When Plans Go Wrong
by Katralissakitty
Summary: Backstory: The Avengers are all living together, because Nick Fury decided it would be easier to assemble them if they were all in the same place. Loki's there too, because he and Thor resolved their conflict, and they're friends again. For the most part. Current: Tony is teaching Thor how to drive, when Loki pops up and has other plans...


Every nerve in Tony's body was on edge. He'd never taught anyone to drive before. This, was going to be a challenge.

Thor sat in the drivers seat, staring blankly at all of the controls. Tony sat next to him, in all his armor. Except for the helmet. Thor had asked before they had stepped into the car, why he was suited up, and his only response was, "I just want to be safe". This had put a look of alarm on Thor's face, and Tony just ignored it and stepped into the car. Now, Thor's look of alarm had morphed into confusion at the sight of all of these controls.

Tony sighed. Thor looked up at him, expectantly. "What, what's first?" he asked. Tony closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. "Alright. There are two pedals by your feet. Do you see them?" he asked as calmly as he could. Thor looked at his feet and found them.

"Yes," he answered. Tony nodded. "The one on the left, is what makes the car stop. The one on the right, makes it accelerate," he replied. Thor stared at him. This made Tony even more uncomfortable.

"The wheel there, steers the car," he pointed out. Thor nodded slowly. Tony handed the keys to Thor, who stared at him with more confusion.

"These, turn it on," he said quietly. Thor took the keys slowly, still very confused. Tony pointed at the ignition.

"Put the black one in that hole there," his voice wavered slightly. He had to admit, he was scared. Thor put the key in the ignition, and turned it. The car rumbled, Thor jumped.

"Alright, now, that lever there, that puts it into gear," he stated. Thor looked at him. Tony sighed. "Put your foot on the brake, the left pedal, and pull the lever until the D lights up on the dashboard," he instructed. He had insisted that Thor just take a driving class, but the rest of the group decided that he should teach him instead, because it just wouldn't work out, for many different reasons. Tony didn't like the idea of being the one to do it, but someone had to. And he was the only one with an indestructible suit of armor.

Thor did as he was told, but then let up on the brake. The car began to idle, Thor panicked. "Put your foot back on the brake," Tony said calmly. Thor accidentally put his foot on the accelerator instead. The car lurched forward, they both shouted in unison.

"The left one!" Tony panicked. Thor slammed on the brake. Inertia pulled them forward, and jerked them backward. Tony's eyes were wide with shock. The car had stopped inches from a large tree. Thor was breathing heavily, a look of fear on his face. From the back seat, came laughter, that was all too familiar.

"Well done brother. You almost managed to kill yourself, and your friend," Tony jumped at the sound of Loki's voice. He sat in the center of the back seat, with a huge grin on his face. Tony wanted to punch him in the jaw, and watch him bleed.

Thor put his face in his hands. "Must you antagonize me today, brother?" he spoke tiredly. Loki laughed once more. "Of course! When would I not?" Tony felt adrenaline pumping through his veins. He was ready to pound the God into the ground.

"I'm not putting up with your shit today Loki, get out," he ordered through gritted teeth. Thor banged his head on the steering wheel repeatedly. Loki just smiled. "You will never be rid of me," he answered defiantly. Tony reached around to fire at him, but Loki scooted to the right, causing the blast from Tony's hand to end up burning a hole in the center seat. Tony cursed under his breath. Loki laughed.

"Look, if you don't want me to tell Hulk about this incident, I suggest you get the hell out," Tony threatened. Loki leaned forward, and put his lips by Tony's ear.

"If you do not wish for Lady Potts to know that you are sharing a bed with another woman, you would not threaten me," he whispered. Tony swallowed hard. How did he know about Selena? Thor looked up, surprised.

"You are being unfaithful to her?" he asked. Tony put his head in his hands. Loki snickered, and sat back. "Let's try this again, Thor," Tony mumbled. Thor hesitated, before putting his hands back on the wheel. "Slowly, very slowly, take your foot off the break. The car is going to roll a bit," he instructed. Thor did. The car idled.

"Alright, now, SLOWLY, push the right pedal, the gas pedal. It's going to accelerate," Tony ordered. Thor shot him a look of concern. Tony returned it with a look of reassurance, even though inside, he was screaming for his life.

Thor looked back to the road, and slowly, pressed the gas pedal. The car gently moved forward. Tony looked at the steering wheel, Thor's knuckles were white from griping it so tightly.

"Alright, now, try to keep it on the road, and keep your speed below 30 miles per hour," he instructed. Thor nodded, and did as he was told. Loki was surprisingly quiet, which scared Tony. He was up to something. After a while, Thor spoke up.

"So, you are seeing another woman?" he wondered. Tony shook his head. "Just, focus on the road. And, stop drifting to the left, you'll end up in the ditch," he answered, with a bit more of an edge than he'd intended. All of a sudden, snakes began to slither up the steering wheel. Thor panicked, and pulled the wheel to the left while slamming on the brakes. Everything that happened next seemed to be in slow motion.

The tires squealed, the stench of burning rubber filled his mouth and nose. The car toppled over. Closing his eyes, he braced himself. Heart pounding. Blood roaring. Ears ringing.

They landed upside down in the ditch. Loki, who hadn't worn a seatbelt, was sprawled out on the ceiling of the car, which was now the floor. Blood trickled down his forehead.

Thor and Tony hung from their seats, held in by the seatbelts. All was silent, except for the ringing in his ears, and Thor and Loki's heavy breathing.

"That, did not, go as I planned," Loki moaned. Tony looked back at him. The god laughed. He decided that the blood on his pale forehead, wasn't enough.

He fumbled frantically, trying to undo his seatbelt. Loki slowly turned to look at him. Tony grunted, as he angrily jerked it left and right, unable to release it. Loki struggled to sit up, and dragged himself towards the door. When he reached for the handle, Tony pushed the 'lock' button. Loki froze.

He continued jerking and pulling, and still, it wouldn't release. He whipped around, and shot Loki a menacing look. Loki's eyes widened in alarm. He heaved himself against the window, attempting to bust out of the car. Just then, Tony heard a click. He fell from the seat, landing on the ceiling.

Loki scrambled, trying to escape. Tony crawled around to the back seat, and grabbed the god's ankles, dragging him underneath him. Loki yelped.

Tony lowered his heavy body onto him, pinning him face down under his weight. Loki writhed, and tried to squeeze out from underneath him. Tony put his right forearm on Loki's head, pushing his face into the broken glass. The dark haired god grunted. With his left arm, he punched Loki in the side, where he wasn't armored. He drove his iron fist into his soft body once more. Loki moaned. Tony repeated this action two more times, before raising him up slightly, grabbing the god's hips with his metal hands, and squeezing with all his might until he heard a crunch. Loki screamed in agony.

Tony thrusted Loki towards the ground, and flipped him onto his back. Loki grunted and moaned, breathing heavily. Blood, and shards of glass covered his face.

"Alright Tony, I think that's plenty," Thor spoke calmly. Tony wasn't done yet. He kicked him between his legs with all his metal coated knee. Loki let out a high-pitched yelp. Tony put his hands on the god's throat, and began closing off his windpipe.

Loki didn't struggle, he didn't gasp for air. His ice blue eyes pierced Tony's soul. Tony's own eyes grew wide with shock, what was Loki trying to do? Just then, Thor fell from the ceiling, and grabbed Tony's shoulders, jerking him off of his mangled brother.

Tony allowed himself to be thrust into the window, while still staring at Loki, who lie still on his back, unmoving. Thor crouched next to his brother.

"Loki?" he whispered. Loki looked up at him, unspeaking. He took a deep breath calmly, not indicating any signs of being near death. Thor breathed a sigh of relief. Tony muttered curses under his breath. Loki slowly looked over at Tony, blood trickling down the corner of his mouth.

"You, are going to seriously, regret doing this," he moaned. Tony suddenly feared for his life. What exactly did he mean by that? What was Loki going to do to him? He didn't want to stick around to find out. Tony scrambled out the door of the car, relieved to be free. He took in a breath of fresh air, and tried to clear his mind. Shortly afterwards, Thor was crawling out the door, Loki dragging himself after him. Thor grunted as he hit his head on the doorway, while trying to stand up too soon.

Tony pulled his cell phone out of the compartment in his thigh armor, and dialed Steve. Loki propped himself up against the car, and began pulling shards of glass out of his face, cursing with each one.

"Hey, what's going on?" Steve asked over the phone. Tony shook his head, still breathing heavily. "We uh, got into an, accident," he started, "can you come pick us up?" Steve raised his voice in alarm.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" he asked frightened.

"Yeah, Thor and I are fine. Loki, on the other hand, might need some looking at," he assured him.

"What is Loki doing there? How badly is he injured?" Steve asked, concerned.

"I'll fill you in on the details later. He's not going to die or anything, but, he might have some damage in his hips. He's dragging himself like some kind of injured animal," he looked back to see the look of disapproval on Loki's face. It was priceless.

"Alright, I'm sending Banner, he'll be there in a few minutes. Can he hold out that long?" he asked.

"Ohhh yeah. He'll be fine," Tony answered, hanging up. He turned to Loki once more. Loki grimaced as he pulled the last shard of glass from his cheek. Tony smirked.

"How are your hips?" he asked mischievously. Loki glared at him. Thor shot Tony a warning look. He obviously cared about Tony's well being.

"Agonizing, I certainly appreciate your concern," Loki grunted sarcastically. Tony snickered. "Do you want me to feel them, and see if they're broken?" he offered jokingly, anticipating Loki's reaction.

"If you ever, touch me in that manner again, I will decapitate you without even thinking twice about it," Loki threatened. Tony nodded. He believed him.

* * *

><p>The pain in Loki's hips was almost unbearable. If he were mortal, he would have been screaming. And even though he was immortal, it took everything in him to keep from doing so. Tony hadn't quite shattered them, but they were at least cracked. The force of those hands would most likely have shattered any mortal's hips. Regardless of what had happened, he'd start healing very soon.<p>

Loki had to admit, it wasn't worth angering Tony over. His plan didn't exactly work out the way he wanted it to. He had expected Thor to panic, and go off the road, landing in the ditch, yes, but, he didn't plan on the car tipping over. And, he also thought he would be able to escape out the door. He would have, if Tony hadn't locked it as he did.

He looked over at Thor, who was looking at him sympathetically. Loki looked away, trying to conceal his pain. He didn't want to look weak in front of his older brother.

A while later, Banner pulled up. Loki managed to bring himself to his feet, nearly toppling over at the searing pain in his hips. He held himself up against the car, and tried to make it look as if he weren't nearly as injured as he was. Banner stepped out of the car, a look of concern on his face. He made his way to where Thor and Loki were standing.

"What happened?" he asked worriedly. Tony threw his hands up in the air. "Loki almost killed us all," he exaggerated. Banner's eyes widened in alarm.

"What?" he replied, shocked. Thor shook his head. "He used one of his illusion tricks, causing me to panic and end up in the ditch. The vehicle flipped, but luckily, none of us were injured. Until Tony decided to punish Loki, that is," Thor explained. Tony nodded, and stepped into Banner's car, not wanting anything more to do with the situation. Loki would have laughed at the fact that Tony was so angry, if he weren't putting all of his energy into keeping himself up, and breathing regularly.

Banner looked back at Loki. "Are uh, are you alright?" he asked nervously. Loki nodded. "I am fine, thank you," he spoke quietly. As he readjusted himself, he shifted his hips wrong, sending a jolt of pain throughout his body. He grunted and fell forward into Bruce's arms.

"Nope, you're not," the doctor grunted under his weight. Loki pulled himself back up, holding back a groan.

"No, seriously, I'm fine," he insisted, grabbing his hips and limping towards the car. Banner shrugged, and followed him.

Loki dragged himself into the back seat. He could feel his hips healing already, making it a bit easier to move. Tony sat in the front seat. And Thor, next to Loki in the back. Banner got in and shut the driver door.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked once more. Loki nodded. "Oh, I will be," he spoke slowly, looking towards Tony. He, was going to be very, sorry.


End file.
